Who We Are

Ha! I finally realized that in all of my ramblings so far, I haven't really introduced myself and my spanking partner. Maybe an introduction and a bit of background is in order ;)

Professor and I met several years ago through a personals ad that he posted on Bernie's (remember Bernies? :)). I was very new to spanking and was looking for someone to share my first experience with. I had read stories and perused various websites, but I was at the very beginning of my spanking journey and had no real idea of what I wanted or needed. I did know that I was looking for a long term Discipline relationship and that I loved Professor/student role plays. Professor was older and wiser, with alot of past spanking experience who enjoyed spanking as well as being the tour guide to a new spankee. We both were seeking a non sexual spanking relationship because we are both married to vanilla spouses.

Do *you* know what I need Professor? Sometimes I don't even know what I need in this relationship we have started.

No, Little One, I don't *know*. And I know that you don't know either. Finding out what you need will be a journey. You need a caring, experienced tour guide and a lot of courage and determination, but the
destination is worth the trip. The journey itself can be fun too.

Early on, I needed to know everything and I was filled with self doubt and insecurity. I am an "analyzer" by nature and will spend incredible amounts of time trying to figure out the "why" and "what for" of things in order to accept them. Although I had fantasized about spanking for years, I still needed to wrap my brain around this thing......the idea that I wanted to be spanked in real life. Acceptance comes easier if I am able to examine something and then give it a name. I had a broad name for my kink.....spanking.....but I lacked the smaller more subtle names for how that kink applied to me. So, in order for me to accept this new thing, I needed to study and label it.

However, in my study, I realized that we didnt fall neatly into one category. At first this was horrifying. I wanted to be able to find my niche...to find others like me. And I needed some sort of label for that. In order to find others like me, I needed to know what I was.

Professor however, took a different approach. He challenged me not to try to fit a label, but instead to focus on what I might like or not like. We exchanged long emails. I answered questions. He sent me stories and asked me to read them and tell him what I thought and soon I was writing my own stories. Our relationship developed over time, naturally, without being forced or pigeon holed into some predefined dynamic. And it continues to develop and change based on our needs and where we are at any particular point of the journey.

When asked, I have found it hard to place a label (although I have tried!) on "who we are". Are we D/s? DD? Power exchange? blah blah blah....the labels go on and on. So I dont have a simple label for what we are. But I do think an introduction is in order, so I will try to give a glimpse into our relationship.

Who We Are

I have an answer for you to provide to your chatfriends when they ask what you are: "I am his" Simple.
You can elaborate to those who ask about it being non-sexual, you obeying me and learning from me for your own good and for my pleasure, our shared spanking passion, etc. But for *your* own understanding Little One, the answer to yourself is "I am his" and you will trust me.

We have a non sexual discipline based spanking relationship. We meet on a regular basis and email or talk on the phone to maintain contact between meetings. Besides sharing a love of spanking, Professor and I wear many hats in our relationship.

Tour Guide/touree
He is a tour guide and I am the "touree" if you will. We are spanking partners and he is the tour guide on our journey. He exposes me to the wonderful nuances of the kink and seeks to fulfill me as well as challenge me. As "tour guide" and "touree", we decide on what we want in spanking scenes.....the things we like, the things we want to try, the various role plays, our fantasies, our needs. I have been exposed to various positions, implements, and scenarios in an attempt to figure out "what turns me on". And I am free to explore this wonderful thing called spanking under the safety of his watchful eye.

Spanker/spankee

Simply put, we are both lovers of all things spanking. I really can't think of another experience out there that comes close to giving me what I get when I am being spanked. I love spanking for spanking's sake. I am one of those people who truly enjoys the sensation of a good, sound spanking. I find the sensation pleasureable, the rituals involved, thrilling and the whole experience just down right swoony.

Mentor/mentee

He is my Mentor, the person I go to for counsel. He is active in helping make decisions about my real life. He is one of the first people I call when I need advice. I value his opinion alot.

Professor/Student

He is Professor, and I attend class at the university where he teaches. In some sense, we live out the ultimate Professor/student spanking fantasy. I visit his campus and attend lectures on a semi regular basis and do the rest of the course work online in an "independent study" type fashion. A typical visit usually includes attending class, an office caning and lunch.

Father/daughter

Professor at times may don one of his other hats, Father figure. In this role he shares in my successes and failures, doles out advice, comforts me when needed and is just there for me, consistently....patiently. He provides an important role model for me and I am allowed the chance to be a daughter who idolizes her Father.

Disciplinarian/disciplinee

He is also Disciplinarian, the man who seeks to instill discipline in his inherently naughty disciplinee. This is the man who corrects me when I make mistakes, punishes me for bad behavior, and rewards me for good behavior. And his main motivating tool is spanking and I can tell you that punishment spankings are never fun and they are not play.

Ownership

I am his. We are not equal. There is a submissive part of me and a Dominant part of him. The ownership aspect of our relationship stems directly from my need to submit and feel that I belong to someone. I have a need to please that goes beyond pleasing a father figure or mentor type and enjoy more D/s type scening as well.

Our relationship is one that is based on inequality. In scene, he makes all of the decisions. He also makes decisions concerning behavior and other things in my real life. We walk a fine line of friendship and respect and in the beginning, I abdicated my decision making power when it comes to behavior and discipline. He mandates and I obey. And this part of our relationship is based on trust and respect.

Friends

On top of everything else, we have managed to carve out a friendship. We enjoy each other's company, laugh, joke, commiserate, among other things. We talk about politics, family, movies etc. We share book titles, tips on various subjects and other things that friends share. He told me not long ago that I was one of his best friends and I do not doubt that because I know he is one of mine.