I am me again

I met Professor in the parking lot of the restaurant where we have lunch on days when we need to "circle the spanking wagons". I needed the extra time with him. I was feeling distant. Walled away... from him... and in some ways, from myself.

I had put up the walls for the holidays, and was having a hard time taking them back down. I was supergirlish... resilient...closed... wary... dependent on no one.

For some sessions... if we haven't seen each other in a while... or if we are meeting after a particularly stressful time (such as the holidays) in real life for either of us (usually me!), Professor asks to meet for lunch before spanking. We always spend time talking before/during/after a spanking session, yet nothing seems to compare to the unique way my world is righted after one of our lunches.

Is it the concentrated one on one attention? The easy, no pressure environment that lends itself to carefree banter? Or could it simply be Professor knows that people can't help but be better listeners when their mouths are filled with food?

I have come to realize that these lunches offer a platform from which the relationship between Mentor and mentee can be nurtured... as well as being a peg from which I am able to hang many things. Whatever the reason, when Professor suggests we should meet for lunch prior to spanking, I know that he is circling the spanking wagons... giving us a chance to reconnect... regardless of what kind of spanking he has in store for me later on.

Yesterday's spanking session... it wasn't one of those fear filled, lump so big in your throat it threatens to choke off your airway punishments. Or a swoony school girl role play replete with the trademark plaid skirt and stern Academic. Or even one of those sound spanking for spankings sake where there is very little talking, but rather, alot of spanking inflicted by someone who understands....

Yesterday's session....well, it started like this:

I met Professor in the parking lot of the restaurant where we have lunch on days when we need to "circle the spanking wagons"....

Professor grins ....greeting me with his arms wide open, before pulling me close to his chest...a simple yet monumental act that begins, as I close my eyes and allow my body to be saturated in his presence, our subtle return to familiarity...

"Hey! Nice sweat pants! I see you dressed up for me today!"

Hmphffing rather loudly and looking down at my army green Adidas track pants (They are track pants not sweat pants! Sweat pants have those elastic ankles and are made of that....ew...sweat pant material! Track pants! I am wearing track pants!), I scowl.

"Yeah, well it was cold out this morning Professor!" ... I whine, jamming my hands into the pockets of my AE vest, my scowl giving way to a sheepish grin. "I brought another outfit," I add, almost as an afterthought.

I feel as much like the naughty teenager I resemble, tagging along behind Professor, struggling to keep up with his long legged stride, clothed in track pants and black chucks, as the waitress leads us to our table. I am distant from him... tomboyish... remnants of the coping mechanisms I used to survive the holidays still stubbornly clinging to me like psychological armor.

I am antsy... giddy... guarded and unusually shy, and as I sit down across from him, I fold my legs up underneath my body and hold the menu like a shield.

I am distant from you...do you realize that? I giggle nervously and shift in my seat, all the while, hoping that you will find some way to reach me and pull me back out...

"Ohhh...I have a Christmas present that I need you to help me with," he says, reaching into his pocket. His eyes crinkle as he grins, and I giggle when I see his new cell phone. He squints at the screen, his fingers busily pushing various buttons, and I struggle not to laugh. "Shhh!" He admonishes, "I got a new phone and I need to put your number in." He pushes more buttons and I hug myself, my body shaking with laughter.

"Do you want me to..."

"No! I can do it! I just need to find my phone book."

I watch the ice melt in my water glass.

"You know, if you just let me..."

"Shh! I just learned how to use the phone book."

Is he sweating?

"Do I need to enter the area code?"

I am extremely amused, and lean in closer to watch my Professor...a highly respected faculty member of a large university...a PhD... an Uber Geek...as he struggles to add my phone number to his new cell phone.

He pauses to give me a warning look and I laugh out loud into my menu as the waitress stops by to see if we are ready to order.

Uh, yes, I will have the Chicken Caesar, and Professor will have the Cell Phone 101, with a "Let's make the leap to the electronic age, shall we?" on the side...

Lunch is light hearted and fun, and we spend the time catching up, laughing and re-establishing our relationship. I am nervous about our upcoming spanking session, but I don't know why...

I try to tell him about the distance... my nervousness, but I don't think he understands. "It's been a long time since we saw eachother, Professor. I feel distant from you... weird." He is confused. I can see it on his face. "A long time? We saw each other two weeks ago, Naughty One! I know it wasn't a spanking meeting last time, but we did see each other. Actually, we had a long session less than a month ago."

I nod vaguely. "Yeah, I know." It's not the actual length of time, don't you see? A lot has happened... junk... it seems longer... much longer... don't you see? Geesh, I sound like a freak, but it does seem longer.

When we get to the hotel, it is freezing. I don't want to change into the familiar plaid skirt and strappy heels. I don't feel girly...I want to keep my vest on. It's cold... I am cold... I don't want the intimacy, Professor...I can't seem to come back from where ever it is that I am. We spend some time looking at the new implements, we talk some more... and my nervousness grows.

I lean against the sink in the bathroom after getting dressed. Why is this so hard right now? Let go. Just be...

I come out of the bathroom and walk across the room to where he is sitting, the new double strap in his hand. He pats his lap and I am going over... the floor is rushing up to my face... my hands reach the floor...I feel his fingers hook in the waistband of my panties... he pulls them down gently to mid thigh... his hand is flat against my lower back... and I am....home? I want to be home..let go...just be...

"Hmm. I think we should just use the leather toys today." I smile and shift on his lap. He is talkative... playful. "A leather theme, huh?" I say, gasping as the double strap lands sharply across both cheeks with a CRACK! "That stings!"

He brings the strap down again and I yelp as it lands smartly on the crease of my right cheek. Damn...that sucker stings! "I thought it would be louder though, it's not too loud." He brings it down several more times, hard, pausing only to lift one cheek, then the other, with his free hand, to expose the tender flesh where bottom and thigh meet.

"It's loud," he says, "but not the CRACK! loudest toy we have. CRACK! The leather paddle CRACK! CRACK! is much louder." I am wriggling and gasping, my hands are off the floor and I grip the rung of the chair. "Truuuuueeeeeee. But this...is...more...sTINgy...*ouch!*... the paddle is... *ggggahhh!* *ouch!* *geesh!*... thuddier."

I am panting now, my bottom stinging. "You are really feeling the sting today aren't you?" CRACK!
I squirm and sigh. "Yeah...we are talking...*accck!*...too much and it's distracting...*ouch!*... me. CRACK! CRACK! ...*gasp*...I keep fighting it... I can't seem ... CRACK!... to *arggggh!!!!!* ... let... CRACK!...*ouch!*...ooooooo! you're wearing different shoes!" At once the spanking stops. "Those are my snow shoes." I can tell from the sound of his voice that he is laughing. "Ahh..snow shoes, gotcha."

"Did you ever see the movie Clueless?" he asks, as I am dangling over his knee, mid spanking, the blood pooling in the top of my head. "The scene where she is walking along, absorbed in a conversation, and suddenly she stops and squeals, oooooo Snickers!...here you are over my knee, getting spanked and I hear, ooooooo! Different shoes!" Erm...my Professor saw the movie Clueless? And he is quoting dialogue?

CRACK! *gggggaaaa!* "Ouch! That stings!! Do you think it stings more because I can't get in the right mindset?" I ask through gritted teeth. CRACK! CRACK! The leather paddle is now in his hand and it lands on each stinging cheek hard. "Hmm...ooooooo, different shoes? CRACK! Yes, your mindset theory might have merit."

He is laughing and whacking... and I am wriggling and laughing and ouching all at the same time.

And I am happy... and close...to him.

And then I am me again.

Just like that.