Bang! Bang! You're Swooning
Swoon.
What makes a good scene or a good spanking dynamic for that matter? I use the word "dynamic" here because I am not talking about the relationship, I am talking about a spanking scene or session....those moments in time where you are spankee and he/she is spanker. Whether it be role play, or discipline, or just spanking for spankings sake, there are details about the scene or the spanker that make you swoon.
What are the things that make a spankee swoon? Are they the same for everyone? Are there common themes? What is it about your spanker that makes you swoon?
I probably should define the word swoon first because I use it a lot when I talk about my kink, so a definition is probably in order. What do I mean by swoon? Well, the dictionary defines it as falling into some sort of faint, and usually when I see the word, it involves a fair complexioned, overly coiffed waif falling into the arms of the Cary Grant type.
When I use the word, I don't mean literally faint, I mean that overall feeling. That breathless, heart thumping sensation you get when someone is able to rock your world. And it doesn't have to be in the moment either. A particularly painful spanking may not make me consciously swoon in the moment, but the anticipation and the overall feeling of it can be very swoony.
Why do I swoon? What causes that weakening of the knees that I get during a good session?
Bliatz posted something on her blog about an article she read recently, written by Peter Master, referring to what he called the "template dom". The idea behind the "template dom" is that everyone has a template of what they think a good dom is (and I can broaden that term "dom" to include top/spanker/whatever and "sub" to include bottom/spankee) and the closer a dominant comes to that template, the more strongly the submissive responds to them, and the template is based on instinct, past experiences, etc.
The term "template dom" made me want to write about the idea of triggers. In reference to a spanking scene, its "the little things"........the triggers.....that make a scene especially swoony. And just to be clear, a trigger is not to be confused with a need or want. A trigger elicits a response. It isn't something I want....or desire....or fantasize about....it just is. It is a piece to my puzzle.
And that being said, back to the swoony scene:
We have all had them. Scenes that make our knees weak, our tummies tingle, and our bodies tremble on the inside. Those are the scenes that stay with us, the ones that seem so good that they border on the surreal, and weeks later we sit wondering if it was only a dream.
Professor and I share all types of spankings. Some sessions are disciplinary, some are role play, some are just spanking for spankings sake. Within those categories, there are some sessions that stand out in my mind more than others.
Don't get me wrong, I have enjoyed (enjoyed is relative here) all of my spanking sessions, but some scenes have pushed more buttons than others. I wonder if the "template" theory can be applied here as well. I think it can.
It truly is the little things. I enjoy the little things. I love subtlety....the attention to detail. Simply put, I am a great appreciator of the beauty of triggers. What is a trigger? A trigger is something that initiates a process or reaction. And the manipulation of triggers can be used to control a person or a situation.
And it is multiple triggers that satisfy my overall need for spanking. It is my triggers that make it impossible for Study Boy to spank me. Many people have asked me why I don't just have him whack me even if he is vanilla. Why do I have to seek out spanking from another? It is all about triggers. Spanking isn't just about whack whack whack....it isn't just about the physical sensation. As Wintermute once said, there is a language, and one must be able to speak and understand the language. To understand triggers. :)
Think of it in the context of advertising. When the Dodge Caravan came on the scene, the industry initiated a campaign geared toward touching the triggers of the archetypical "soccer mom". Ads were done to specifically appeal to this type of person....some subset of middle-class, white suburban women who were busy shuttling their kids to and from soccer practice. Dodge celebrated the "soccer mom" and as a result, in the late afternoon, the roads are clogged with kid loaded Caravans on their way to, oh yes, soccer practice.
Advertisers are wonderful at finding and manipulating the triggers of their targeted markets. And so that brings me to another point. A trigger must be recognized, or understood....and then manipulated to get the desired reaction or desired level of control.
What are triggers in the context of a good spanking scene? Once again, they are the things responsible for initiating a reaction or feeling. And how well I respond to my Spanker in scene, or to the scene itself, depends on how many triggers he recognizes, understands and is able to touch on at any given moment.
What moves me in a spanking scene? What tends to rock my world? There are alot of little things, but to give you an example:
Dominance in presence (the definition being a separate post of its own) in the form of a good lecture. Being told to change into a short plaid skirt....a school girl type outfit and then directed to stand in the center of a room, hands at my side. The way he stands up, his towering presence a physical reminder of his authority, and then moves his body closer to mine, invading my personal space.
The way he places his hands on his hips....that paternal stance of disapproval, his quiet steely tone, his set jaw.....that dark look. Even the words or "hot" phrases he chooses while lecturing can be triggers: "young lady", "got it?", "naughty girl", "bare bottomed spanking", "good girl", "I won't have my little girl behaving that way".
All of those things are triggers that illicit a particular response from me.
The simple act of baring my bottom hits several triggers, especially when Professor does it for me. It is the general loss of control by having someone lower my panties while I am helpless to do anything about it, and the humiliation of having my bottom bared for a spanking like some naughty little girl. Triggers. It is all about triggers.
And what is the result? What sort of response do my triggers initiate?
My transformation. In a swoony spanking scene (or any swoony interaction with Professor for that matter. It doesn't have to include an actual spanking) I am transformed from an independent, strong willed, opinionated, Type A personality to:
~ a blushing, fidgety, very small, tickle in my tummy, play with my hair while nibbling on my bottom lip, little school girl who is about to be spanked
~a respectful, obedient, malleable submissive eager to please her Dominant
~a sick to my stomach from nervousness but remorseful, deserving and resigned, "soon to be upended and soundly spanked because she needs to be punished", naughty girl
Each response or transformation depends on what triggers are used. And for each spankee, the triggers are different. My triggers are not the same as yours. And even if we do have similar triggers, our responses to them may be different as well. Is there such thing as a "template dom". Yes, I think so. And whether or not your dom/spanker/top can make you respond strongly to him/her is based not only on basic chemistry, but communication. Good communication in order to make the particular pieces to your perspective puzzles clear.
Because really, if you think about it, what is the ultimate trigger? For someone to discover your triggers and understand them enough to use them.
Oh yes. :)
At least it is the ultimate trigger for me. But I am a masochist, so what do I know? :)
~to be continued.......
What makes a good scene or a good spanking dynamic for that matter? I use the word "dynamic" here because I am not talking about the relationship, I am talking about a spanking scene or session....those moments in time where you are spankee and he/she is spanker. Whether it be role play, or discipline, or just spanking for spankings sake, there are details about the scene or the spanker that make you swoon.
What are the things that make a spankee swoon? Are they the same for everyone? Are there common themes? What is it about your spanker that makes you swoon?
I probably should define the word swoon first because I use it a lot when I talk about my kink, so a definition is probably in order. What do I mean by swoon? Well, the dictionary defines it as falling into some sort of faint, and usually when I see the word, it involves a fair complexioned, overly coiffed waif falling into the arms of the Cary Grant type.
When I use the word, I don't mean literally faint, I mean that overall feeling. That breathless, heart thumping sensation you get when someone is able to rock your world. And it doesn't have to be in the moment either. A particularly painful spanking may not make me consciously swoon in the moment, but the anticipation and the overall feeling of it can be very swoony.
Why do I swoon? What causes that weakening of the knees that I get during a good session?
Bliatz posted something on her blog about an article she read recently, written by Peter Master, referring to what he called the "template dom". The idea behind the "template dom" is that everyone has a template of what they think a good dom is (and I can broaden that term "dom" to include top/spanker/whatever and "sub" to include bottom/spankee) and the closer a dominant comes to that template, the more strongly the submissive responds to them, and the template is based on instinct, past experiences, etc.
The term "template dom" made me want to write about the idea of triggers. In reference to a spanking scene, its "the little things"........the triggers.....that make a scene especially swoony. And just to be clear, a trigger is not to be confused with a need or want. A trigger elicits a response. It isn't something I want....or desire....or fantasize about....it just is. It is a piece to my puzzle.
And that being said, back to the swoony scene:
We have all had them. Scenes that make our knees weak, our tummies tingle, and our bodies tremble on the inside. Those are the scenes that stay with us, the ones that seem so good that they border on the surreal, and weeks later we sit wondering if it was only a dream.
Professor and I share all types of spankings. Some sessions are disciplinary, some are role play, some are just spanking for spankings sake. Within those categories, there are some sessions that stand out in my mind more than others.
Don't get me wrong, I have enjoyed (enjoyed is relative here) all of my spanking sessions, but some scenes have pushed more buttons than others. I wonder if the "template" theory can be applied here as well. I think it can.
It truly is the little things. I enjoy the little things. I love subtlety....the attention to detail. Simply put, I am a great appreciator of the beauty of triggers. What is a trigger? A trigger is something that initiates a process or reaction. And the manipulation of triggers can be used to control a person or a situation.
And it is multiple triggers that satisfy my overall need for spanking. It is my triggers that make it impossible for Study Boy to spank me. Many people have asked me why I don't just have him whack me even if he is vanilla. Why do I have to seek out spanking from another? It is all about triggers. Spanking isn't just about whack whack whack....it isn't just about the physical sensation. As Wintermute once said, there is a language, and one must be able to speak and understand the language. To understand triggers. :)
Think of it in the context of advertising. When the Dodge Caravan came on the scene, the industry initiated a campaign geared toward touching the triggers of the archetypical "soccer mom". Ads were done to specifically appeal to this type of person....some subset of middle-class, white suburban women who were busy shuttling their kids to and from soccer practice. Dodge celebrated the "soccer mom" and as a result, in the late afternoon, the roads are clogged with kid loaded Caravans on their way to, oh yes, soccer practice.
Advertisers are wonderful at finding and manipulating the triggers of their targeted markets. And so that brings me to another point. A trigger must be recognized, or understood....and then manipulated to get the desired reaction or desired level of control.
What are triggers in the context of a good spanking scene? Once again, they are the things responsible for initiating a reaction or feeling. And how well I respond to my Spanker in scene, or to the scene itself, depends on how many triggers he recognizes, understands and is able to touch on at any given moment.
What moves me in a spanking scene? What tends to rock my world? There are alot of little things, but to give you an example:
Dominance in presence (the definition being a separate post of its own) in the form of a good lecture. Being told to change into a short plaid skirt....a school girl type outfit and then directed to stand in the center of a room, hands at my side. The way he stands up, his towering presence a physical reminder of his authority, and then moves his body closer to mine, invading my personal space.
The way he places his hands on his hips....that paternal stance of disapproval, his quiet steely tone, his set jaw.....that dark look. Even the words or "hot" phrases he chooses while lecturing can be triggers: "young lady", "got it?", "naughty girl", "bare bottomed spanking", "good girl", "I won't have my little girl behaving that way".
All of those things are triggers that illicit a particular response from me.
The simple act of baring my bottom hits several triggers, especially when Professor does it for me. It is the general loss of control by having someone lower my panties while I am helpless to do anything about it, and the humiliation of having my bottom bared for a spanking like some naughty little girl. Triggers. It is all about triggers.
And what is the result? What sort of response do my triggers initiate?
My transformation. In a swoony spanking scene (or any swoony interaction with Professor for that matter. It doesn't have to include an actual spanking) I am transformed from an independent, strong willed, opinionated, Type A personality to:
~ a blushing, fidgety, very small, tickle in my tummy, play with my hair while nibbling on my bottom lip, little school girl who is about to be spanked
~a respectful, obedient, malleable submissive eager to please her Dominant
~a sick to my stomach from nervousness but remorseful, deserving and resigned, "soon to be upended and soundly spanked because she needs to be punished", naughty girl
Each response or transformation depends on what triggers are used. And for each spankee, the triggers are different. My triggers are not the same as yours. And even if we do have similar triggers, our responses to them may be different as well. Is there such thing as a "template dom". Yes, I think so. And whether or not your dom/spanker/top can make you respond strongly to him/her is based not only on basic chemistry, but communication. Good communication in order to make the particular pieces to your perspective puzzles clear.
Because really, if you think about it, what is the ultimate trigger? For someone to discover your triggers and understand them enough to use them.
Oh yes. :)
At least it is the ultimate trigger for me. But I am a masochist, so what do I know? :)
~to be continued.......