I Have a Cold... Sniffle
I have a cold... ~sniffle~
Hmmm...let me rephrase that...
My head is stuffy, my nose is runny and there is a tickle in my throat.
No, no... maybe I should try again... ~sniffle~
My whole body aches, my nose continues to run and be stuffed up at the same time (how can that be?), my stomach is queasy from all the drainage, and my body seems quite determined to launch one of my lungs up onto the carpet at any moment.
Hrm.
Okay, how about this... ~snerrrrrrrrkkkkk!~
I can only breathe through my mouth which affords me my current "I'b so sick I bay die at any mobent" speak. I'm drinking Gatorade like a maniac to stay somewhat hydrated and I have hardly had to pee all day because I think it's all mostly pouring out of my still very stuffed up nose like the bathroom faucet.
Oh. And I sound a lot like a barking seal when I cough.
As a side note, I decided to forgo the fun curly straw that Skate Kid added to my glass sympathetically, due to an overwhelming fear that while drinking through said straw I might create a vacuum and implode, achieving death by "strawfocation".
I blame this on Skate Kid... and his recent "well visit" to the pediatrician.
Actually I blame it on that germ pit the office calls a toy box in the waiting room. I can almost see the nasty little viruses hopping from the GI Joes to a random My Little Pony just waiting for some kid to come along.
Usually I keep a sharp eye out, refusing to allow my precious progeny to go petri dish diving, but dammit, I really had to go to the bathroom. When I returned, my little germ magnet was sitting...yes, SITTING in the toy box.
~sniffle~
Needless to say, one booster shot, a Batman sticker, one fifteen dollar co-pay, and a minor plague infestation later, we were out the door and on our way home to start our own little personal epidemic. Woo! Hoo!
~sniffle~
Did you know, according to WebMD:
The common cold is caused by over 200 different viruses that can live for hours on surfaces like keyboards, chained bank pens, or anything within 10 feet of a kid? They enter the body through the nose, most often by a drifting sneeze droplet or a badly behaved finger.
Rubbing your eyes can also introduce the menace, which slides down your tear ducts to viral ground zero where the back of the nose meets your throat. Upon successful entry, it will inject its own genetic material into a nasal cell and seize command, directing manufacture of new, self-assembling viral parts.
Soon, hundreds of new viruses fill the cell to bursting, setting free an unruly mob ready to repeat the process. The body reacts with an immune response and releases, among other chemicals, histamine, which causes the runny nose, sneezing and watery eyes associated with a cold.
About 95 percent of people directly exposed to virus particles will become infected, though a quarter may not produce symptoms. Remarkably, it's those with strong immune systems who become symptomatic. The characteristic sneezing, sinus pressure, and low-grade fever are part of the body's defense mechanism. For example, fever and blocked nasal passages increase the temperature of the sinuses (to kill viruses), and runny noses and sneezing are an effort to expel the invaders.
A strong immune system, dammit. That's why I am hacking like a bull frog and high as a kite on cold medicine.
Usually I don't like to take meds... it must be that "Masochistic New Englander" thing I've got going. I caved yesterday afternoon though, when I spiked a fever of 102 and was willing to try anything that didn't involve leeches or bats in order to achieve some sort of comfort.
My cocktail choice of the cold season was Dayquil. :)
Yep, so here I be... happily high on caffeinated cold medicine, fluctuating between moments of I-need-to-do-this-right-now-right-now-cripes-are-those-my-fingers-going-rat-a-tat-tat-geeshh-I-am-sshhhaking! to Ohhhhh... I'm flooooooating... weeeeEEE!!!!. I am soooooooo graceful! No one has ever glided up and down the aisles of Walgreens with a kleenex hanging out of her right nostril in search of Vicks Vapor Rub as gracefully as I am doing!
So... where is my spanko mojo in all of this?
Hmmm:
Professor: ~In a tone true to his best "remember you always remain under my watchful eye, Young Lady" stern Disciplinarian form (via phone no less!)~
I want you to take care of yourself, Naughty One. Do you understand? I want you to get plenty of rest. We have a bit of unpleasantness to take care of when I see you next week and I don't want to have to add anything else to the list, got it?
Me: ~Blushing slightly, I pull my blanket up to my chin, and revel in the anticipation of our next spanking session as my belly flip flops and I shudder uncontrollably amid the backdrop of a humming humidifier and the heady menthol smell of Vick's~
Y,y,yes Professor, I understab. I probise to get pleby of resth.
Ahhhh...the simple joys of being a spanko...
Hmmm...let me rephrase that...
My head is stuffy, my nose is runny and there is a tickle in my throat.
No, no... maybe I should try again... ~sniffle~
My whole body aches, my nose continues to run and be stuffed up at the same time (how can that be?), my stomach is queasy from all the drainage, and my body seems quite determined to launch one of my lungs up onto the carpet at any moment.
Hrm.
Okay, how about this... ~snerrrrrrrrkkkkk!~
I can only breathe through my mouth which affords me my current "I'b so sick I bay die at any mobent" speak. I'm drinking Gatorade like a maniac to stay somewhat hydrated and I have hardly had to pee all day because I think it's all mostly pouring out of my still very stuffed up nose like the bathroom faucet.
Oh. And I sound a lot like a barking seal when I cough.
As a side note, I decided to forgo the fun curly straw that Skate Kid added to my glass sympathetically, due to an overwhelming fear that while drinking through said straw I might create a vacuum and implode, achieving death by "strawfocation".
I blame this on Skate Kid... and his recent "well visit" to the pediatrician.
Actually I blame it on that germ pit the office calls a toy box in the waiting room. I can almost see the nasty little viruses hopping from the GI Joes to a random My Little Pony just waiting for some kid to come along.
Usually I keep a sharp eye out, refusing to allow my precious progeny to go petri dish diving, but dammit, I really had to go to the bathroom. When I returned, my little germ magnet was sitting...yes, SITTING in the toy box.
~sniffle~
Needless to say, one booster shot, a Batman sticker, one fifteen dollar co-pay, and a minor plague infestation later, we were out the door and on our way home to start our own little personal epidemic. Woo! Hoo!
~sniffle~
Did you know, according to WebMD:
The common cold is caused by over 200 different viruses that can live for hours on surfaces like keyboards, chained bank pens, or anything within 10 feet of a kid? They enter the body through the nose, most often by a drifting sneeze droplet or a badly behaved finger.
Rubbing your eyes can also introduce the menace, which slides down your tear ducts to viral ground zero where the back of the nose meets your throat. Upon successful entry, it will inject its own genetic material into a nasal cell and seize command, directing manufacture of new, self-assembling viral parts.
Soon, hundreds of new viruses fill the cell to bursting, setting free an unruly mob ready to repeat the process. The body reacts with an immune response and releases, among other chemicals, histamine, which causes the runny nose, sneezing and watery eyes associated with a cold.
About 95 percent of people directly exposed to virus particles will become infected, though a quarter may not produce symptoms. Remarkably, it's those with strong immune systems who become symptomatic. The characteristic sneezing, sinus pressure, and low-grade fever are part of the body's defense mechanism. For example, fever and blocked nasal passages increase the temperature of the sinuses (to kill viruses), and runny noses and sneezing are an effort to expel the invaders.
A strong immune system, dammit. That's why I am hacking like a bull frog and high as a kite on cold medicine.
Usually I don't like to take meds... it must be that "Masochistic New Englander" thing I've got going. I caved yesterday afternoon though, when I spiked a fever of 102 and was willing to try anything that didn't involve leeches or bats in order to achieve some sort of comfort.
My cocktail choice of the cold season was Dayquil. :)
Yep, so here I be... happily high on caffeinated cold medicine, fluctuating between moments of I-need-to-do-this-right-now-right-now-cripes-are-those-my-fingers-going-rat-a-tat-tat-geeshh-I-am-sshhhaking! to Ohhhhh... I'm flooooooating... weeeeEEE!!!!. I am soooooooo graceful! No one has ever glided up and down the aisles of Walgreens with a kleenex hanging out of her right nostril in search of Vicks Vapor Rub as gracefully as I am doing!
So... where is my spanko mojo in all of this?
Hmmm:
Professor: ~In a tone true to his best "remember you always remain under my watchful eye, Young Lady" stern Disciplinarian form (via phone no less!)~
I want you to take care of yourself, Naughty One. Do you understand? I want you to get plenty of rest. We have a bit of unpleasantness to take care of when I see you next week and I don't want to have to add anything else to the list, got it?
Me: ~Blushing slightly, I pull my blanket up to my chin, and revel in the anticipation of our next spanking session as my belly flip flops and I shudder uncontrollably amid the backdrop of a humming humidifier and the heady menthol smell of Vick's~
Y,y,yes Professor, I understab. I probise to get pleby of resth.
Ahhhh...the simple joys of being a spanko...