Father Figure
Poiesia wrote:
"Is this ageplay, age regression? I don't know, really. It smacks of a "littleness" that speaks to vulnerability, my weaker aspects. I need to lean, to be righted, to be -- let's face it -- soundly spanked. I want the load lifted, the world lightened and then calmed and coddled to rights. It is the core of the archetypal paternal dynamic, and I am little. With a breath, I am shyer, quieter, unsure of myself. Little. Yet, I am not a little girl; You are not a Daddy. But the patina, the essence of something unnamed, akin to it, it is here."
The role of a father figure.
It seems to me that no matter how old, successful and/or independent we get, for some of us, there is still a profound human hunger for affirmation from a male authority figure. Part of the human condition is the need to be mentored. We want to be held accountable...be given boundaries, approval... unconditional love.
Even though we don't like the idea and may even try to deny our need, we crave the type of discipline that comes from love. Paternal love. We feel more secure as a society when we have guardrails in place and a fair but firm authority figure to appeal to.
Father figure.
The term has the ability to make one squirm with embarrassment and look at the floor in apparent non-interest. It is a primal yearning, and it is integral to our development, yet the unconscious mind is in a constant battle between denial and acceptance...at times screaming to refute the legitimacy of our longing for a thirst rooted in childhood, and at others, whispering longingly for the limits and emotional connection that only a father can provide.
A father figure is a symbolic representation, the embodiment of all things "fatherly".
In Jungian psychology, the "figure" of the "father" is the figure that embodies all the traits of the ideal/archetypical father: he represents authority, law, social order and masculine protectiveness, and we unconsciously recognize any male figure of authority, including teachers, judges, priests, policemen and soldiers as father figures.
I recently read an interesting article about "father hunger":
"There is a father hunger in society that is unrecognized, unnamed, not seen as that. It is seen in the people who rage toward society, and in the need for authority - for someone else to tell them what to do.
Father hunger is a deep persistent desire for emotional connection with the father experienced by all children. When this normal craving is satisfied, children are likely to grow up feeling confident, secure, strong and "good enough."
Often, however, this yearning is not acknowledged and the need for a bond with father grows, creating an emotionally hungry child. Without a sense of belonging, the emotionally hungry child becomes an immediate gratification junkie who develops into a pseudo-mature adult without a sense of identity."
There is a part of spanking...an often unnamed aspect of spanking that I think addresses the need for a father figure. It is the "undefineable" item on the list of reasons given by spankos when asked why they need to be spanked. It is vague...ethereal...a whisper of a feeling...a phantom need.
It does not fall under the generic label of D/s...or domestic discipline...or even ageplay for that matter. It is something else. As poiesia so eloquently describes it: "With a breath, I am shyer, quieter, unsure of myself. Little. Yet, I am not a little girl; You are not a Daddy. But the patina, the essence of something unnamed, akin to it, it is here."
It is not something I am able to get from the less natural exchange of control in pure D/s. It is something that for me, would be elusive in the confines of marriage where issues of romance, sex and equality muddy the waters of a discipline headspace.
It is not something I can get from erotic spanking or play because pleasure does not take center stage. And it is not something I could get from ageplay, because it isn't roleplay. Not really. Is there such thing as "real"play I wonder?
What is it then?
It is that part of my spanking dynamic that fills my tummy with butterflies or makes me crave real discipline. It is the connection...an emotional intimacy that is brought about by submitting to a caring authority that leaves me feeling righted...and worth while...and little.
I am Professor's naughty little girl, and yet, I am not a child. He is authoritative, strict and demanding. And yet he is caring, consistent and fair. And with him, I am at times, small.
His authoritative presence elicits that smallish part of me. He touches those aspects that are most vulnerable... the parts that feel "at home" when I am upended over his strong lap, my panties around my ankles, my skirt pinned up under the weight of his hand resting on the small of my back.
The parts that respond to his language..."naughty girl"..."young lady"..."get over my knee so that I can spank your bottom". It is my smallish parts that are reset...quieted... fulfilled by a bedtime spanking, pj bottoms pulled down to my knees, my face pressed deep into my pillow as my hairbrush falls over and over again on my bare bottom before being returned to its rightful place on the nightstand.
This aspect of spanking can be so important. So very important.
But why?
It is this type of spanking and the rituals that surround it...standing in the corner, being sent to your room to get ready for punishment, being grounded or other such losses of privileges that hint at a thing much larger and more primal. A yearning for something thought long forgotten and buried in childhood...a yearning that we are told has no place in adulthood.
But for me, I am unable to ignore its place. It speaks to me loudly and it is at my very Spanko core; A thirst for discipline and an emotional connection.
Professor is Spanker. He is Tour Guide and walks with me on my journey to discover my place in the kink. He is Disciplinarian and he is Friend. He is Mentor...and he is more than that. He plays a very basic and much needed role in my life.
He is the quiet, unyielding role model that keeps me grounded and centered. He offers support and guidance, limits and consequences, but most importantly, he offers time and mentoring.
He is someone I look to for direction of how to survive and thrive in this thing called life and he is someone I can lean on and look up to. He will never desert me and he is the ultimate role model. It is this part of the spanking kink...the role he plays in our dynamic that is essential and is what binds me to him.
Spanker, comforter, protector, watchdog, tour guide, defender, friend, companion, teacher, and disciplinarian.
Father figure.
"Is this ageplay, age regression? I don't know, really. It smacks of a "littleness" that speaks to vulnerability, my weaker aspects. I need to lean, to be righted, to be -- let's face it -- soundly spanked. I want the load lifted, the world lightened and then calmed and coddled to rights. It is the core of the archetypal paternal dynamic, and I am little. With a breath, I am shyer, quieter, unsure of myself. Little. Yet, I am not a little girl; You are not a Daddy. But the patina, the essence of something unnamed, akin to it, it is here."
The role of a father figure.
It seems to me that no matter how old, successful and/or independent we get, for some of us, there is still a profound human hunger for affirmation from a male authority figure. Part of the human condition is the need to be mentored. We want to be held accountable...be given boundaries, approval... unconditional love.
Even though we don't like the idea and may even try to deny our need, we crave the type of discipline that comes from love. Paternal love. We feel more secure as a society when we have guardrails in place and a fair but firm authority figure to appeal to.
Father figure.
The term has the ability to make one squirm with embarrassment and look at the floor in apparent non-interest. It is a primal yearning, and it is integral to our development, yet the unconscious mind is in a constant battle between denial and acceptance...at times screaming to refute the legitimacy of our longing for a thirst rooted in childhood, and at others, whispering longingly for the limits and emotional connection that only a father can provide.
A father figure is a symbolic representation, the embodiment of all things "fatherly".
In Jungian psychology, the "figure" of the "father" is the figure that embodies all the traits of the ideal/archetypical father: he represents authority, law, social order and masculine protectiveness, and we unconsciously recognize any male figure of authority, including teachers, judges, priests, policemen and soldiers as father figures.
I recently read an interesting article about "father hunger":
"There is a father hunger in society that is unrecognized, unnamed, not seen as that. It is seen in the people who rage toward society, and in the need for authority - for someone else to tell them what to do.
Father hunger is a deep persistent desire for emotional connection with the father experienced by all children. When this normal craving is satisfied, children are likely to grow up feeling confident, secure, strong and "good enough."
Often, however, this yearning is not acknowledged and the need for a bond with father grows, creating an emotionally hungry child. Without a sense of belonging, the emotionally hungry child becomes an immediate gratification junkie who develops into a pseudo-mature adult without a sense of identity."
There is a part of spanking...an often unnamed aspect of spanking that I think addresses the need for a father figure. It is the "undefineable" item on the list of reasons given by spankos when asked why they need to be spanked. It is vague...ethereal...a whisper of a feeling...a phantom need.
It does not fall under the generic label of D/s...or domestic discipline...or even ageplay for that matter. It is something else. As poiesia so eloquently describes it: "With a breath, I am shyer, quieter, unsure of myself. Little. Yet, I am not a little girl; You are not a Daddy. But the patina, the essence of something unnamed, akin to it, it is here."
It is not something I am able to get from the less natural exchange of control in pure D/s. It is something that for me, would be elusive in the confines of marriage where issues of romance, sex and equality muddy the waters of a discipline headspace.
It is not something I can get from erotic spanking or play because pleasure does not take center stage. And it is not something I could get from ageplay, because it isn't roleplay. Not really. Is there such thing as "real"play I wonder?
What is it then?
It is that part of my spanking dynamic that fills my tummy with butterflies or makes me crave real discipline. It is the connection...an emotional intimacy that is brought about by submitting to a caring authority that leaves me feeling righted...and worth while...and little.
I am Professor's naughty little girl, and yet, I am not a child. He is authoritative, strict and demanding. And yet he is caring, consistent and fair. And with him, I am at times, small.
His authoritative presence elicits that smallish part of me. He touches those aspects that are most vulnerable... the parts that feel "at home" when I am upended over his strong lap, my panties around my ankles, my skirt pinned up under the weight of his hand resting on the small of my back.
The parts that respond to his language..."naughty girl"..."young lady"..."get over my knee so that I can spank your bottom". It is my smallish parts that are reset...quieted... fulfilled by a bedtime spanking, pj bottoms pulled down to my knees, my face pressed deep into my pillow as my hairbrush falls over and over again on my bare bottom before being returned to its rightful place on the nightstand.
This aspect of spanking can be so important. So very important.
But why?
It is this type of spanking and the rituals that surround it...standing in the corner, being sent to your room to get ready for punishment, being grounded or other such losses of privileges that hint at a thing much larger and more primal. A yearning for something thought long forgotten and buried in childhood...a yearning that we are told has no place in adulthood.
But for me, I am unable to ignore its place. It speaks to me loudly and it is at my very Spanko core; A thirst for discipline and an emotional connection.
Professor is Spanker. He is Tour Guide and walks with me on my journey to discover my place in the kink. He is Disciplinarian and he is Friend. He is Mentor...and he is more than that. He plays a very basic and much needed role in my life.
He is the quiet, unyielding role model that keeps me grounded and centered. He offers support and guidance, limits and consequences, but most importantly, he offers time and mentoring.
He is someone I look to for direction of how to survive and thrive in this thing called life and he is someone I can lean on and look up to. He will never desert me and he is the ultimate role model. It is this part of the spanking kink...the role he plays in our dynamic that is essential and is what binds me to him.
Spanker, comforter, protector, watchdog, tour guide, defender, friend, companion, teacher, and disciplinarian.
Father figure.