The Exquisite Pain of Spanking
"The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity."
~Albert Einstein
I am fascinated by the topic of pain lately. This sudden keen interest is based less on idle interest and more on a very clear desire to understand why I am the way I am. Curiosity can be a rather strong motivator...so, simply put, the subject of pain is my new obsession.
My spanking journey has led to many paths of self discovery, some of which I have explored eagerly... running headlong... eyes, ears and mind open to whatever I might find at the end of my travels. And other paths...well, I have paused just long enough to stand at the entrance of a poorly marked trail, content in gleaning whatever bits and pieces of knowledge I could within squinting distance before moving on.
One such unexplored path is my reaction to the pain.
After experiencing several real life spankings, it didn't take me long to realize that among other things, I truly enjoyed the pain. Yeah. That was a bit of a kick in the pants. Spankings are supposed to hurt, and pain isn't supposed to be fun... or so I had read and been told by others more experienced than I. It wasn't something I expected to enjoy.
For me, it isn't a case of "grin and bear it" in order to experience the joy of aftercare... and it isn't about enduring the painful side effect of an otherwise enjoyable experience. I can't even say that I view the pain as a necessary tool used to help me open up, for discipline, or whatever. I enjoy the sensation. I find the pain of spanking to be pleasurable. Does it hurt? Yes.
So then, why do I enjoy it? And what do I mean by "enjoy the pain"? In the context of spanking, pain is a pleasant experience for me. As I have said before, it is "a good kind of hurt"... a good kind of pain... and I enjoy it.
This revelation was more than mildly disturbing to me and for a long time I chose to leave the pain part of my spanking journey unexplored, choosing to focus on other aspects of my spanko self instead. Recently though, I found myself returning to the pain topic.
I am not sure if it is because I am becoming more confident and feel more equipped to look at those parts of myself or if it is a simple case of quiet desperation...the need to assuage my "socialized" self- the part of me that is intent on "being normal".
It is my "socialized" self...the "what will the neighbors think?" part left over from childhood that is responsible for my reluctance to explore, and/or accept the pain aspect, so I hope this recent fascination is not about curbing the whispered judgments of my shame monster.
Personally? I prefer to think that as I stand on the precipice of the new year, I have a better understanding of who Spanko Girl is...who I am. And that, along with my overly curious nature has spurred my most recent search for explanations about the experience we refer to as pain.
Twilight recently posted this on her blog, Just a Little Bit Naughty:
"The best technique for pain-management does not involve ignoring or fighting the pain, but rather, moving into it. Instead of trying not to think of the pain, or railing your body and mind to fight against it, you have to submit to it...as you let the pain take over and saturate every pore of your body, you will begin to recognize 'pain' as just another sensory input - a signal sent from your body to you brain, no more, no less..."
She posted this and more, explaining that it was text from a book having nothing to do with BDSM, yet was an accurate portrayal of how she dealt with pain during kinky play.
I was bowled over by the text because to me, it was a clinical description of how to reach subspace.
And then I happened to read a brilliant essay on pain by Magdelena, on her blog Myths and Metawhores, called The Violence of Love- The Pleasure of Pain, and it was the following excerpt that spoke to me:
"...Within the context of a scene, beatings may give the appearance of cruelty, of violence but this is an illusion. Psychological empathy and insight allows one to collapse into the sensation and choose to interpret it differently. We change our experience of pain. Safe in the knowledge that no real damage is being done, that we are emotionally cared for, we can relax into the pain-pleasure paradox. There is no distress connected with the sensory pain of high intensity, because it is unaccompanied by suffering."
We... change... our... experience... of... pain.
Yeah. Oh yeah.
This very profound statement captured the essence of a very important piece to my own masochistic puzzle...and much more elegantly than my clumsy "it's a good kind of pain".
How is it that I am able to find the experience of a spanking pleasurable? It is the *context* of the pain experience. The pain is expected... welcomed, and it is inflicted lovingly...expertly...and by someone I trust.
Magdelena and the author of twilight's article both seemed to touch on something important: The role of mindset when coping with pain. And so, with my curious (and science oriented) mind sufficiently peaked, my quest for answers began...
Pain is defined as an unpleasant sensory and emotional experience associated with actual or potential tissue damage. Since it is not well understood and cannot be measured directly, it is very subjective; however it is usually associated with emotions such as suffering and distress.
Pain is a survival tool... a signal to the body that it is being harmed... a signal that whatever activity is causing said pain should be avoided.
What about non-injuring pain then? The "pain" of a spicy meal... a strenuous workout... the initial heat of a jacuzzi... Is it possible for the brain to be trained to not feel non-injuring pain? Or to not interpret it to be the type of pain usually associated with suffering or distress?
And how are pain and pleasure linked?
Scientists have recently discovered that areas of the brain that respond to feelings of pleasure also react to the sensation of pain. Researchers at Mass General Hospital stated that pain is a complex experience that includes both a sensation *and* an emotional reaction.
The first is a feeling called nociception. This is the feeling of perceived damage to the body. This is the feeling that seems to be located in your ear during an ear infection, or comes in the form of sharp pins and needles when the blood comes back into a leg that has been "asleep."
The second feeling is displeasure. Displeasure is just the opposite of pleasure: it's feeling bad, rather than feeling good. It is the emotive response to perceived bodily injury... the suffering. And this emotive response of pain can be separated from nociception.
According to the Pain-Gate theory, it is in the spinal cord that the first "processing" of painful stimuli occurs, and whether or not pain is "recognized" by the brain is determined whether the pain gate is open or closed. Pain can either be transmitted through the spinal cord to the brain *or* be inhibited... the brain controls the flow of pain quite directly, and can be trained to turn off forms of pain that aren't "useful".
The pain gate can be closed with non-painful sensory input like heat or cold or massage (or rubbing away the sting of a spanking!)... using things like imagery or breathing to tune out the pain... or by simply relaxing (decreased anxiety).
So what does all of this have to do with the "good kind of pain" I get when I am spanked?
Pain... is... subjective.
A person's perception of pain is influenced by emotions, mood, state of mind...even memories.
I love a hard spanking. When I go into a spanking experience...lets say, a session with a crook handled cane, I approach the experience positively....safe in the knowledge that I will enjoy it. The pain of the caning is wrapped up in many positive thoughts and emotions; the psychological pleasure of being over Professor's knee, the ritual involved in a spanking session, my own personal need to face a challenge and overcome it, the simple fact that the pain will be inflicted in a caring manner.
I change my experience of pain.
A person who fears the cane however, might experience pain differently. Maybe they have bad memories, or have a fear of the unknown, or have a bias based on what they have read or been told others, and so they approach a caning experience with fear... or preconceived ideas about how awful or painful it will be. Their fear, stress and/or negative mindset could contribute to their overall pain experience.
What is very painful for one person may just be uncomfortable for another. What was uncomfortable at one point in your life might be horribly painful at another point. Pain is a subjective phenomenon where mindset, memories, and emotions all contribute to our personal pain experiences...and one person's pain may be another person's pleasure.
When is pain a "good kind of pain"? For me, it is when I am being spanked... hard... on my bare bottom... over Professor's knee... safe in the knowledge that the pain I am experiencing is being inflicted expertly ... lovingly... by someone I respect and trust...
Is it then that the pain is exquisite...
P.S. ... I am getting spanked tomorrow. It is the first session Professor and I have had since before Christmas and we have lots of new implements to play with... but more about that later...I promise ;) Happy New Year everyone!
~Albert Einstein
I am fascinated by the topic of pain lately. This sudden keen interest is based less on idle interest and more on a very clear desire to understand why I am the way I am. Curiosity can be a rather strong motivator...so, simply put, the subject of pain is my new obsession.
My spanking journey has led to many paths of self discovery, some of which I have explored eagerly... running headlong... eyes, ears and mind open to whatever I might find at the end of my travels. And other paths...well, I have paused just long enough to stand at the entrance of a poorly marked trail, content in gleaning whatever bits and pieces of knowledge I could within squinting distance before moving on.
One such unexplored path is my reaction to the pain.
After experiencing several real life spankings, it didn't take me long to realize that among other things, I truly enjoyed the pain. Yeah. That was a bit of a kick in the pants. Spankings are supposed to hurt, and pain isn't supposed to be fun... or so I had read and been told by others more experienced than I. It wasn't something I expected to enjoy.
For me, it isn't a case of "grin and bear it" in order to experience the joy of aftercare... and it isn't about enduring the painful side effect of an otherwise enjoyable experience. I can't even say that I view the pain as a necessary tool used to help me open up, for discipline, or whatever. I enjoy the sensation. I find the pain of spanking to be pleasurable. Does it hurt? Yes.
So then, why do I enjoy it? And what do I mean by "enjoy the pain"? In the context of spanking, pain is a pleasant experience for me. As I have said before, it is "a good kind of hurt"... a good kind of pain... and I enjoy it.
This revelation was more than mildly disturbing to me and for a long time I chose to leave the pain part of my spanking journey unexplored, choosing to focus on other aspects of my spanko self instead. Recently though, I found myself returning to the pain topic.
I am not sure if it is because I am becoming more confident and feel more equipped to look at those parts of myself or if it is a simple case of quiet desperation...the need to assuage my "socialized" self- the part of me that is intent on "being normal".
It is my "socialized" self...the "what will the neighbors think?" part left over from childhood that is responsible for my reluctance to explore, and/or accept the pain aspect, so I hope this recent fascination is not about curbing the whispered judgments of my shame monster.
Personally? I prefer to think that as I stand on the precipice of the new year, I have a better understanding of who Spanko Girl is...who I am. And that, along with my overly curious nature has spurred my most recent search for explanations about the experience we refer to as pain.
Twilight recently posted this on her blog, Just a Little Bit Naughty:
"The best technique for pain-management does not involve ignoring or fighting the pain, but rather, moving into it. Instead of trying not to think of the pain, or railing your body and mind to fight against it, you have to submit to it...as you let the pain take over and saturate every pore of your body, you will begin to recognize 'pain' as just another sensory input - a signal sent from your body to you brain, no more, no less..."
She posted this and more, explaining that it was text from a book having nothing to do with BDSM, yet was an accurate portrayal of how she dealt with pain during kinky play.
I was bowled over by the text because to me, it was a clinical description of how to reach subspace.
And then I happened to read a brilliant essay on pain by Magdelena, on her blog Myths and Metawhores, called The Violence of Love- The Pleasure of Pain, and it was the following excerpt that spoke to me:
"...Within the context of a scene, beatings may give the appearance of cruelty, of violence but this is an illusion. Psychological empathy and insight allows one to collapse into the sensation and choose to interpret it differently. We change our experience of pain. Safe in the knowledge that no real damage is being done, that we are emotionally cared for, we can relax into the pain-pleasure paradox. There is no distress connected with the sensory pain of high intensity, because it is unaccompanied by suffering."
We... change... our... experience... of... pain.
Yeah. Oh yeah.
This very profound statement captured the essence of a very important piece to my own masochistic puzzle...and much more elegantly than my clumsy "it's a good kind of pain".
How is it that I am able to find the experience of a spanking pleasurable? It is the *context* of the pain experience. The pain is expected... welcomed, and it is inflicted lovingly...expertly...and by someone I trust.
Magdelena and the author of twilight's article both seemed to touch on something important: The role of mindset when coping with pain. And so, with my curious (and science oriented) mind sufficiently peaked, my quest for answers began...
Pain is defined as an unpleasant sensory and emotional experience associated with actual or potential tissue damage. Since it is not well understood and cannot be measured directly, it is very subjective; however it is usually associated with emotions such as suffering and distress.
Pain is a survival tool... a signal to the body that it is being harmed... a signal that whatever activity is causing said pain should be avoided.
What about non-injuring pain then? The "pain" of a spicy meal... a strenuous workout... the initial heat of a jacuzzi... Is it possible for the brain to be trained to not feel non-injuring pain? Or to not interpret it to be the type of pain usually associated with suffering or distress?
And how are pain and pleasure linked?
Scientists have recently discovered that areas of the brain that respond to feelings of pleasure also react to the sensation of pain. Researchers at Mass General Hospital stated that pain is a complex experience that includes both a sensation *and* an emotional reaction.
The first is a feeling called nociception. This is the feeling of perceived damage to the body. This is the feeling that seems to be located in your ear during an ear infection, or comes in the form of sharp pins and needles when the blood comes back into a leg that has been "asleep."
The second feeling is displeasure. Displeasure is just the opposite of pleasure: it's feeling bad, rather than feeling good. It is the emotive response to perceived bodily injury... the suffering. And this emotive response of pain can be separated from nociception.
According to the Pain-Gate theory, it is in the spinal cord that the first "processing" of painful stimuli occurs, and whether or not pain is "recognized" by the brain is determined whether the pain gate is open or closed. Pain can either be transmitted through the spinal cord to the brain *or* be inhibited... the brain controls the flow of pain quite directly, and can be trained to turn off forms of pain that aren't "useful".
The pain gate can be closed with non-painful sensory input like heat or cold or massage (or rubbing away the sting of a spanking!)... using things like imagery or breathing to tune out the pain... or by simply relaxing (decreased anxiety).
So what does all of this have to do with the "good kind of pain" I get when I am spanked?
Pain... is... subjective.
A person's perception of pain is influenced by emotions, mood, state of mind...even memories.
I love a hard spanking. When I go into a spanking experience...lets say, a session with a crook handled cane, I approach the experience positively....safe in the knowledge that I will enjoy it. The pain of the caning is wrapped up in many positive thoughts and emotions; the psychological pleasure of being over Professor's knee, the ritual involved in a spanking session, my own personal need to face a challenge and overcome it, the simple fact that the pain will be inflicted in a caring manner.
I change my experience of pain.
A person who fears the cane however, might experience pain differently. Maybe they have bad memories, or have a fear of the unknown, or have a bias based on what they have read or been told others, and so they approach a caning experience with fear... or preconceived ideas about how awful or painful it will be. Their fear, stress and/or negative mindset could contribute to their overall pain experience.
What is very painful for one person may just be uncomfortable for another. What was uncomfortable at one point in your life might be horribly painful at another point. Pain is a subjective phenomenon where mindset, memories, and emotions all contribute to our personal pain experiences...and one person's pain may be another person's pleasure.
When is pain a "good kind of pain"? For me, it is when I am being spanked... hard... on my bare bottom... over Professor's knee... safe in the knowledge that the pain I am experiencing is being inflicted expertly ... lovingly... by someone I respect and trust...
Is it then that the pain is exquisite...
P.S. ... I am getting spanked tomorrow. It is the first session Professor and I have had since before Christmas and we have lots of new implements to play with... but more about that later...I promise ;) Happy New Year everyone!