Falafel, a cane, school and a reset for Naughty One
A sound spanking resets me.
A bit of time has passed since my last "face to face" with Professor and I have been keeping myself rather busy I think. In the last couple of weeks, I have nearly gotten devoured by a giant demon snake, I earned myself a punishment spanking by telling a lie, I have spent many long hours in the throes of lunacy and well, as a result, I am feeling a bit worn out and more than a little sheepish. And I am feeling rather remorseful. And regretful. And emotionally spent, and guilty, and worried, and so very sorry, and overwhelmed, and pensive, and insecure and well.......smallish.
And I know I need to be punished, and a punishment spanking has been scheduled for the 28th to address the whole lying thing (As much as I abhor the idea, I know that after it is over, I will be forgiven, the slate will be clean and that thing that is between Professor and I will be gone). But my remorse for my bad behavior and the fear of my upcoming punishment doesn't account for all of my smallishness.
Punishment aside, there is a small issue of my "otherworldly" serpentine experience (munchausen syndrome, betrayal, confusion...oh my!). And because of all of the lunacy, and other general life stuff, my world has become a large and confusing place and I am having a hard time navigating my way through it. I think I need to be reset and have my world righted.
In a post from earlier this week I discussed triggers, and how by tweaking various trigger combinations, Professor controls my head space. (I find this to be a very intriguing part of a spanko dynamic...check out Bliatz's MindClit post) What I didn't mention was that some triggers tend to be more "sexual" than others, and some triggers are emotional triggers and my resulting transformation before or during my spanking will determine what kind of reset I experience.
When I am spank horny and want to play, when I want to be spanked hard, and to be made to really swoon, Professor delights in pushing my buttons. He will stretch my physical and mental limits with elaborate scenes or simple yet elegantly sinister mindfucks, patiently stroking and tweaking my cerebral spanko. I love and savor every delicious moment of that type of play because he knows exactly how to press me....challenge me.....until I am not only physically sore, but also mentally satiated.
When I have been naughty and need to be punished, Professor once again, deftly pushes the appropriate buttons. He will lecture and spank in a way that enables him to illicit a full spectrum of feelings and emotions from me including fear, apprehension, humiliation, pain and remorse. And he will thoroughly and determinedly probe and push, exploiting my fears of certain implements and positions to make me a truly sorry young woman.
He told me once that in punishment, usually tears are not the result of the pain. Instead the tears are the result of remorse which the pain accentuates. I believe that. I really do.
Using the appropriate triggers, Professor, my Disciplinarian and Spanko Tour Guide, is able to gently (or forcefully) guide me into the headspace that will help bring about the type of reset his Naughty One needs. It is pretty amazing if you think about it. And takes a lot of communication and attention to detail. Yes, spanking play and spanking discipline for that matter, with Professor can be downright swoony...and very much needed.
And then there is another type of spanking that is just as needed. There is another aspect of my relationship with Professor that is just as important, and it is the thing that is responsible for making our dynamic so magical; Emotional Investment.
Looking back on the last couple of weeks, it is amazing.....the things I will do to cope....to manage...to offset damage. During times of stress, when I find myself struggling to navigate my way through a "much too big" world, Professor's higher rules.....his consistency, provides me with something to hold onto, even when I am feeling so small.
Tomorrow I am going to school to see Professor because I need to be reset.
After class, we will walk and talk, like we always do. We will go to this take out place not far from the campus for lunch and eat falafel, like we always do. We will talk about normal things....every day things, and then we will go back to his office and lock the door and bring out the cane....like we always do. And as we just sit....and talk.....as we just... "are"....like we always are....I will slowly be transformed.
Those smallish feelings I brought with me when I made the long drive to school....those insecure, worried, overwhelmed, pensive, "are we really okay?" smallish feelings will begin to ebb away....slowly....ever so slowly...as we sit and talk and eat falafel...like we always do. And I will be transformed. I will be transformed into Professor's "basically good but sometimes naughty" school-girlish type Naughty One who enjoys spending time with her Mentor", like I always do.
Tomorrow, Professor will tweak the triggers that ground me....reconnect me....give me back my sense of continuity and remind me of the foundation he has given me. And these triggers are special. They are the part of the thing that makes our dynamic so magical. Friendship. Intimacy. Familiarity. Caring. Ownership.
Tomorrow I am going to school to see Professor. We are going to eat falafel and I am going to get caned because my world isn't okay....and spanking resets things. Especially the kind of spanking I get when I go to school.
I need to be reset like I always do.
A bit of time has passed since my last "face to face" with Professor and I have been keeping myself rather busy I think. In the last couple of weeks, I have nearly gotten devoured by a giant demon snake, I earned myself a punishment spanking by telling a lie, I have spent many long hours in the throes of lunacy and well, as a result, I am feeling a bit worn out and more than a little sheepish. And I am feeling rather remorseful. And regretful. And emotionally spent, and guilty, and worried, and so very sorry, and overwhelmed, and pensive, and insecure and well.......smallish.
And I know I need to be punished, and a punishment spanking has been scheduled for the 28th to address the whole lying thing (As much as I abhor the idea, I know that after it is over, I will be forgiven, the slate will be clean and that thing that is between Professor and I will be gone). But my remorse for my bad behavior and the fear of my upcoming punishment doesn't account for all of my smallishness.
Punishment aside, there is a small issue of my "otherworldly" serpentine experience (munchausen syndrome, betrayal, confusion...oh my!). And because of all of the lunacy, and other general life stuff, my world has become a large and confusing place and I am having a hard time navigating my way through it. I think I need to be reset and have my world righted.
In a post from earlier this week I discussed triggers, and how by tweaking various trigger combinations, Professor controls my head space. (I find this to be a very intriguing part of a spanko dynamic...check out Bliatz's MindClit post) What I didn't mention was that some triggers tend to be more "sexual" than others, and some triggers are emotional triggers and my resulting transformation before or during my spanking will determine what kind of reset I experience.
When I am spank horny and want to play, when I want to be spanked hard, and to be made to really swoon, Professor delights in pushing my buttons. He will stretch my physical and mental limits with elaborate scenes or simple yet elegantly sinister mindfucks, patiently stroking and tweaking my cerebral spanko. I love and savor every delicious moment of that type of play because he knows exactly how to press me....challenge me.....until I am not only physically sore, but also mentally satiated.
When I have been naughty and need to be punished, Professor once again, deftly pushes the appropriate buttons. He will lecture and spank in a way that enables him to illicit a full spectrum of feelings and emotions from me including fear, apprehension, humiliation, pain and remorse. And he will thoroughly and determinedly probe and push, exploiting my fears of certain implements and positions to make me a truly sorry young woman.
He told me once that in punishment, usually tears are not the result of the pain. Instead the tears are the result of remorse which the pain accentuates. I believe that. I really do.
Using the appropriate triggers, Professor, my Disciplinarian and Spanko Tour Guide, is able to gently (or forcefully) guide me into the headspace that will help bring about the type of reset his Naughty One needs. It is pretty amazing if you think about it. And takes a lot of communication and attention to detail. Yes, spanking play and spanking discipline for that matter, with Professor can be downright swoony...and very much needed.
And then there is another type of spanking that is just as needed. There is another aspect of my relationship with Professor that is just as important, and it is the thing that is responsible for making our dynamic so magical; Emotional Investment.
Looking back on the last couple of weeks, it is amazing.....the things I will do to cope....to manage...to offset damage. During times of stress, when I find myself struggling to navigate my way through a "much too big" world, Professor's higher rules.....his consistency, provides me with something to hold onto, even when I am feeling so small.
Tomorrow I am going to school to see Professor because I need to be reset.
After class, we will walk and talk, like we always do. We will go to this take out place not far from the campus for lunch and eat falafel, like we always do. We will talk about normal things....every day things, and then we will go back to his office and lock the door and bring out the cane....like we always do. And as we just sit....and talk.....as we just... "are"....like we always are....I will slowly be transformed.
Those smallish feelings I brought with me when I made the long drive to school....those insecure, worried, overwhelmed, pensive, "are we really okay?" smallish feelings will begin to ebb away....slowly....ever so slowly...as we sit and talk and eat falafel...like we always do. And I will be transformed. I will be transformed into Professor's "basically good but sometimes naughty" school-girlish type Naughty One who enjoys spending time with her Mentor", like I always do.
Tomorrow, Professor will tweak the triggers that ground me....reconnect me....give me back my sense of continuity and remind me of the foundation he has given me. And these triggers are special. They are the part of the thing that makes our dynamic so magical. Friendship. Intimacy. Familiarity. Caring. Ownership.
Tomorrow I am going to school to see Professor. We are going to eat falafel and I am going to get caned because my world isn't okay....and spanking resets things. Especially the kind of spanking I get when I go to school.
I need to be reset like I always do.