Secret Spanko Country Fan
Yup, I am a secret country fan.
My big brother lives in Texas, and although he doesn't wear the ten gallon hat or the big ole' shiny "state of Texas" belt buckle (and would kill me for even suggesting that he would sport either item), he is a southern boy through and through.
When he comes home to visit, girls fall all over him because of his accent and his down home charm: "Yes Ma'am, No Ma'am" That sort of stuff. Personally, I think his innocent "country boy" act is just that, an act...a hook for the ladies in order to getting laid, but I digress.
Anyway, my brother is five years older than me and I do idolize him, so he has had some influence on me whether I want to admit it or not. I usually visit him a couple times a year and during my visits, he and his friends do everything in their power to expose me to as much of "God's Country" as they can in the short time I am there. They are sort of like the Borg. "Resistance is futile". You WILL be assimilated..... so you might as well put the boots on now!
Over the years, my brother (who will now be referred to as "Seven of Nine") and the rest of "The Collective" have introduced me to Tex-Mex, taught me how to kicker dance, introduced me to Del Frisco's and exposed me to many of the upscale clubs in downtown Dallas (where there are lots of guys with big hats and big buckles. Lots.- And of course after a couple hours there, I have to drag them over to Deep Ellum just so I can refamiliarize myself with members of my own kind)
He has also introduced me to some pretty swoony country singers. From the moment he picks me up from the airport to the moment he drops me back off, I am continually subjected to country music in every manner, shape or form. I think it is a form of brainwashing. Its part of the assimilation. Really!
Anyway, I am a secret country fan. I have been partially assimilated and I especially like Tim McGraw. And Toby Keith. Swoony country singers. Swoony as in Spanko swoony.
Yeah.
Sorry, but when I see those guys I think of one thing: Spanking. Spanking, spanking, spanking, spanking!
Actually I think about them spanking *me*. Hard. And often. I mean, Toby Keith looks like a Spanker. Big hands, muscular......tough guy. Look at his biceps! Swoony. Damn swoony.
Hmmm....they are part of "The Collective" aren't they?. Maybe assimilation isn't such a bad thing........
My big brother lives in Texas, and although he doesn't wear the ten gallon hat or the big ole' shiny "state of Texas" belt buckle (and would kill me for even suggesting that he would sport either item), he is a southern boy through and through.
When he comes home to visit, girls fall all over him because of his accent and his down home charm: "Yes Ma'am, No Ma'am" That sort of stuff. Personally, I think his innocent "country boy" act is just that, an act...a hook for the ladies in order to getting laid, but I digress.
Anyway, my brother is five years older than me and I do idolize him, so he has had some influence on me whether I want to admit it or not. I usually visit him a couple times a year and during my visits, he and his friends do everything in their power to expose me to as much of "God's Country" as they can in the short time I am there. They are sort of like the Borg. "Resistance is futile". You WILL be assimilated..... so you might as well put the boots on now!
Over the years, my brother (who will now be referred to as "Seven of Nine") and the rest of "The Collective" have introduced me to Tex-Mex, taught me how to kicker dance, introduced me to Del Frisco's and exposed me to many of the upscale clubs in downtown Dallas (where there are lots of guys with big hats and big buckles. Lots.- And of course after a couple hours there, I have to drag them over to Deep Ellum just so I can refamiliarize myself with members of my own kind)
He has also introduced me to some pretty swoony country singers. From the moment he picks me up from the airport to the moment he drops me back off, I am continually subjected to country music in every manner, shape or form. I think it is a form of brainwashing. Its part of the assimilation. Really!
Anyway, I am a secret country fan. I have been partially assimilated and I especially like Tim McGraw. And Toby Keith. Swoony country singers. Swoony as in Spanko swoony.
Yeah.
Sorry, but when I see those guys I think of one thing: Spanking. Spanking, spanking, spanking, spanking!
Actually I think about them spanking *me*. Hard. And often. I mean, Toby Keith looks like a Spanker. Big hands, muscular......tough guy. Look at his biceps! Swoony. Damn swoony.
Hmmm....they are part of "The Collective" aren't they?. Maybe assimilation isn't such a bad thing........