If It Quacks Like a Spanko

I just got done reading a laugh out loud funny, yet very poignant and thought provoking post by poiesia. In her post Bristles, she recounts a comical episode involving her vanilla husband, her spanko bottom, and one newly purchased hairbrush....bristle side up.

I encourage everyone to read it, not only because it is damn funny (thwumpff??), but also because the incident described is a wonderful example of why some vanillas will never be spankos.

I will say that again. Some vanillas will NEVER be spankos.

The issue of bringing vanilla partners over to "the spanko side" is one that is hotly debated in kinky forums, written about on spanko websites and blogs, and discussed in the bedrooms of spankos with non spanko partners across the kinkster globe.

There is a plethora of information and personal accounts that give hope to those who wish to incorporate spanking in their marriage/relationship and many, many spankos have given testimonials about successfully "converted" their previously vanilla loved ones and then living happily spanko after.

A simple "How do I get my husband to spank me?" search on Google results in pages of websites containing a myriad of suggestions for not only how to bring the topic up to a vanilla partner but also, ways to "educate" those vanillas that are opposed to spanking their partners.

There is so much information out there, so many first hand accounts of vanilla partner conversion as a matter of fact, that there is this perception being perpetuated that vanillas are just secret spanking fetishists waiting to be discovered. Okay, so maybe I am exaggerating just a wee bit :).

I do think though, that there is a perception that even if say, the *very* vanilla Study Boy expresses discomfort....no, make that squickiness bordering on sheer horror when confronted with the mere idea of spanking me, that he can be converted. Yes, converted... if he is exposed to a steady diet of patient, information packed, "tell him how much spanking means to you and then reward him with a blow job each time he agrees to whack you, that'll make him a spanko for sure! wink, wink, nudge, nudge" spanko propaganda.

Is that true? Can all vanillas be turned into spankos? And....even if Study Boy agreed to try this strange thing called spanking because he loves his Spanko Girl, does that make him a spanko? Or is he merely a vanilla who will forever view the magical world of spanking with his vanilla colored eyes, whacking away out of love for his wife?

Poiesia's husband Argos, when asked if he would try out the new hairbrush, spanked....bristles down. It never occurred to him to use the flat side of the hairbrush. Why would it? Hairbrushes are always used, bristles down, when brushing hair. It never occurred to him to use the flat side of the hairbrush because he is vanilla....and he was viewing the magical world of spanking with vanilla eyes.

Why don't I just have Study Boy spank me. Because he is vanilla. Sure, he could go through the motions, spank me if I asked him to....but what about the rest of it? The subtle aspects of the spanking magic?

Will he ever revel in the sight of his wife nervously playing with the hem of her skirt while she waits to be punished, or the sight of her reddened bare bottom on display in the corner? Will he ever know, when I myself don't even know in the moment... that when life gets hard for me, I need to be spanked hard? Will he ever be able to continue to spank me... hard...oh so very hard... while I grimace and squirm and finally plead with him to stop, because he knows in his heart that I need it?

Or can we both just accept, and be content that in this world, in this magical world of spanking, I will embrace my kink... revel in it... find fulfillment in it... while Study Boy watches and shares in "my spanko madness" cheerily from the *very* vanilla sidelines?

Yes, my vanilla man could be convinced to try spanking play. And knowing him and his need to do things well, he could even fake the role of a spanko fairly convincingly. But I guess I have to ask the question that if a vanilla acts like a spanko and talks like a spanko, does that make him a spanko... or is he merely a vanilla who knows how to fake it? And more importantly... is he happy faking it?

Its a good question to keep in mind the next time you are at the mall Christmas shopping for Great Aunt Martha and spot a long handled bath brush propped in the window of Bath and Body Works, the mere sight of which makes you get that funny little feeling in your tummy.

Or even a better question might be:

Even if I go to the mall like a vanilla, shop like a vanilla, look like a vanilla...am I a vanilla? Or am I a spanko who will always view the world wearing my spanko colored glasses?

Part One of the series If It Quacks....