Filed Under: Humiliation (Not the Good Kind)

I am going to let the following speak for itself:

Study Boy and I at the breakfast table this morning:

Me: ~Glaring at the hated cell phone in question~ Okay, we are in cell hell and I am sick of it.

Study Boy: ~Munching away like that office cubicle guy in the cereal commercial who can't hear he is being fired~ Hmm?

Me: ~Still glaring at said phone~ Nextel. It sucks. We never have service and I want out. Besides, look it... it's an ugly ass phone. I want something stylish. I want something that works! And I am willing to "cell my soul" to get it! Ha! Ha! Get it? "Cell" my soul?

Study Boy: ~*crunch* *crunch* *crunch*~ Hmmm?

Me: ~Now annoyed and beginning to whine... getting ready for the pitch~ Aren't you even listening to me? It's time... we have been held hostage by shitty service for what? Now I know that it costs money to get out of our contract, but I think yours is up in a month... so we could wait till then and just pay the fee on mine. Hell, I think $200 is a small price to pay, don't you think? How about if I go call Nextel and find out if your contract is up in February okay? We can go from there. ~Looking hopeful~

Study Boy: ~*crunch* *crunch* *crunch*~ Hmm? Howpph mumch? Ummph... okaph ewipph meef.

Me: ~Grabbing my phone and heading outside to stand in the driveway for optimum cell reception~ Thanks hon, be right back!

Me: ~On the phone with "This is Chris, your Nextel Representative, how may I help you today?", while standing in the middle of my driveway in New England... in January... shivering~ Hi, could you tell me when my contract is up? I think it's this coming February, but I'm not sure.

Nextel Representative: Can I have your account number please?

Me: ~Running back up the steps of the front porch and into the house to get our recent bill~ Oh, crap! Yeah, sure... hold on one sec, let me... BEEP!! Uh... hello? Hello, can you hear me? Hello? Hellllloo?

Me: ~Looking at the LCD screen that now cheerily displays the message "Call failed, please try again"~ ARGGGGGGHHHH!!!

Me: ~Back out in the driveway, bill in hand, slowly reading my 75 digit account number over the phone to "Hi, this is Jane, your Nextel Representative, how may I help you today?"~ No, 54387-49. Yes, 8... that's correct.

Nextel Representative: Now may I have your password to confirm your account, please?

Me: Sure, its babelfish.

Nextel Representative: I'm sorry, that's incorrect.

Me: ~Confused~ Uhhhhhh... it's not babelfish? I thought it was babelfish. I always use babelfish...hmm... that's odd...did someone change it? Who'd change it?

Nextel Representative: According to records, the password was changed on November 16th via our website.

Me: ~Now *really* confused!~ Wha??? Are you sure? November 16th? Why would anyone change... wait.. online did you say?

Nextel Representative: Yes, on November 16th an online account was created for billing and such and the password was changed at that time. Do you need the hint provided?

Me: ~Horrified... the memory of establishing the online Nextel account and new password washes over me~ Um, no... that's okay.. I don't need a hint. I remember now.

Nextel Representative: And the new password to verify the account is?

Me: ~Standing in the middle of my driveway in New England... in January... shivering...with my phone pressed to my ear, blushing furiously~ Er, the password is... spankme.

Doh!