The Beat Goes On

I am sitting here killing time before leaving to see my "authoritative, adult male role model". You know, no matter how many times I have done this dance, this "waiting before a spanking meeting" dance, the nervous little tingle I get in the pit of my stomach never goes away. And to be honest, I hope it never does.

That being said, today the tingle is a bit more.....pronounced. You see, this is the first time that the ordinary spanko girl has seen her Disciplinarian in person since she gave voice to her deepest little girl need. (By the way, in keeping with our story/protagonist theme, said Disciplinarian would be considered to be the antagonist.....the villain, the guy who gets booed. Heh. I find that whole analogy supremely funny at the moment-and that is something we can keep between you and me :))

Anyway, I took a big leap by "bearing my soul", considering my tendency to keep my inner most junk close to the vest. So I am feeling like running. Or not going. Not dealing with the whole thing in general. I have that fight or flight thing going.

And yet, I think that really, the best thing for me is to go. Because even though I want to withdraw, to not be touched......to not be comforted.....to not face the fact that I exposed myself.....and certainly not face the Daddyish side he will most certainly show, if I dont go, I wont ever be able to get to the point where I think it is okay to leave the cape home every once in a while. And I wont ever really be able to be the little girl. And that is what this is all about isnt it? This part of my journey?

So.....even though the girl was made to be......that isnt the end of the story.

I will let you know how it goes when I get back. But you probably already know that the good girl always wins, right? (Groan.....now there is a double entendre if I have ever seen one)
I mean, in this case, the good girl will get spanked, but there is always a happy ending. Or at least I hope so......