Sexuality and the "Spanking Only" Dynamic
A gallie pal recently asked me if spanking is still a kink without the sexuality. And I was also asked how my sexuality fits in to my "spanking only" dynamic with Professor.
I have always had a hard time understanding this piece as well, or at least I know "how I feel" but struggle to express it in words, so this is my attempt to put into words an answer to the question about sexuality in a "spanking only" relationship not only for the person who asked, but also for myself, so here goes:
Yes it is still a kink because it does involve my sexuality, even though our dynamic isn't overtly sexual.
I guess in order for me to try to explain, I need to make the distinction between sexuality and sex. I think the undercurrent of energy in a spanking scene is sexual by nature, but it doesn't mean it actually has to involve SEX.
And also, sexual needs are not the only needs that are met in a scene.
For example, when Professor controls or dominates, he says it gives him a "rush". Is the "rush" sexual? No, it is a power rush...which then can result in a rush of adrenaline. Similar to what he would get from running 4 miles.
It is the same physical response as running the 4 miles, however, mentally I think he "gets off" on the dynamic as shown by the power rush he gets by dominating or controlling me in scene. If he just ran the 4 miles, he wouldn't get the power rush. Or satisfy the mental need.
There are needs being met when he controls/dominates and I am controlled/dominated. And those needs are part of his/my sexuality.
Using me as an example, I enjoy the actual physical sensation of spanking. Is it arousing? Sure. Both physically and mentally. And after a session I feel satiated and on a high....and I bask in the afterglow.
The sensation...and the resulting release of endorphins also leaves me with "runners high"...or the "afterglow" that results from having an orgasm.
Hmmm..I wonder...is there such thing as a mental/emotional orgasm?
*over-analytical spanko disclaimer: Of course my theory could be totally wrong and if so, please take it with a grain of salt. This is my attempt at explaining why I am the way I am and it sort of works for me I think. The dynamic *and* the explanation.
Although didn't Professor say I should focus more on enjoying and less on over-analyzing? I probably should be spanked. And hard. ;) I think I should go confess my naughty behavior right now.......
I have always had a hard time understanding this piece as well, or at least I know "how I feel" but struggle to express it in words, so this is my attempt to put into words an answer to the question about sexuality in a "spanking only" relationship not only for the person who asked, but also for myself, so here goes:
Yes it is still a kink because it does involve my sexuality, even though our dynamic isn't overtly sexual.
I guess in order for me to try to explain, I need to make the distinction between sexuality and sex. I think the undercurrent of energy in a spanking scene is sexual by nature, but it doesn't mean it actually has to involve SEX.
And also, sexual needs are not the only needs that are met in a scene.
For example, when Professor controls or dominates, he says it gives him a "rush". Is the "rush" sexual? No, it is a power rush...which then can result in a rush of adrenaline. Similar to what he would get from running 4 miles.
It is the same physical response as running the 4 miles, however, mentally I think he "gets off" on the dynamic as shown by the power rush he gets by dominating or controlling me in scene. If he just ran the 4 miles, he wouldn't get the power rush. Or satisfy the mental need.
There are needs being met when he controls/dominates and I am controlled/dominated. And those needs are part of his/my sexuality.
Using me as an example, I enjoy the actual physical sensation of spanking. Is it arousing? Sure. Both physically and mentally. And after a session I feel satiated and on a high....and I bask in the afterglow.
The sensation...and the resulting release of endorphins also leaves me with "runners high"...or the "afterglow" that results from having an orgasm.
Hmmm..I wonder...is there such thing as a mental/emotional orgasm?
*over-analytical spanko disclaimer: Of course my theory could be totally wrong and if so, please take it with a grain of salt. This is my attempt at explaining why I am the way I am and it sort of works for me I think. The dynamic *and* the explanation.
Although didn't Professor say I should focus more on enjoying and less on over-analyzing? I probably should be spanked. And hard. ;) I think I should go confess my naughty behavior right now.......